Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How to lose 5 lbs in 24 hours

All you have to do is get the flu bug from your boys, throw up a couple of times and at the same time get a crimp that you don't know about in your insulin pump. Blood sugars go high, take insulin (and since you don't test often anyway, figure its fine). Test later, still high, figure it's from sickness, more insulin. Get desperately thristy, but can't keep a drop down. Figure you'd rather get a drop down than be that thristy and you'd rather vomit than feel nauseous anyway. Test blood, still high, take out pump, crimped, of course. Change pump. Notice each time you ralph you get weaker and weaker and your heart rate and breathing don't slow down either. Weigh yourself and notice you're 5 lbs. less than you were this morning. FINALLY! Oh, yeah, and your extremities are starting to feel numb.

Look at the clock, 12:15 am. Wake your barely asleep husband to tell him you're dying. Husband calls good friend Melissa who comes over to be with sleeping boys. Tell your husband you think you'll need an ambulance and friend agrees. Luckily, one more trip to the bathroom allows you to now be able to walk to the car and make the trip to the E.R.

How to get fast E.R. service:
While you were waiting for your friend to get to your house you have your husband write down a list of your symptoms in case you go into a coma on the way. You can barely walk into the hospital. While husband is trying to get you admitted and gives the nurse your list you lie right down on the waiting room floor because you can't even sit in a chair. The nurse comes around and tells the 2 other people waiting that he'll be right back for them, but he has to take care of you first. Husband puts you in a wheel chair and wheels you off to a room.

How to gain 5 lbs in 12 hours:
After debriefing staff and blood gets drawn, start the infusion of 3 bags of saline and some of potassium and magnesium. Also get an anti-nausea infusion that makes it all worth it. Once the nausea is gone, you can deal with anything. You can finally speak without slurring and after they take some arterial blood from your wrist, they move you to the critical care unit. Even though both of your arms are hooked up to different machines and monitoring devices you find a way to get a little bit of sleep.

Then it's morning and they bring you cream of wheat (which you've been wanting for the past few mornings) and the nurse says you need a diabetic meal so they bring another one with eggs and french toast. You're so hungry you eat both. Then for lunch they bring teriyaki/pineapple chicken with wild rice and steamed zuchinni with a wheat roll and pear. You find yourself wondering if Kaiser has stepped up their meals or if you're really just that starving. Go home and weigh yourself and wish you hadn't.
That day was election day. Even though Matt got a sub, he took the boys to his school so he could be there to do the mock election in his homeroom. What kind of great teacher, dad and husband is that? I was glad I was released in time to go vote, even though I could have voted in the hospital (who knew?).

12 comments:

Carlynn said...

Oh my gosh Anne! That sounds terrible. And to have the nausea on top of it all? There is nothing worse than nausea!

Good to know you are doing better. Take care. (No more crimps in the pump!) Thank heaven for hospitals.

LisAway said...

Thanks so much for the tip. I had no idea you could lose 5 pounds so quickly and easily.

You realize you make some people cry when you relay such stories, right?

Jackie said...

Anne, I can't believe what I'm reading! I'm so glad you are O.K.! Did they announce this one in Relief Society? (hee, hee) How glad I am Melissa was there to be with the boys and Matt wasn't on a campout or something. I hope all is better!

Totally Hess said...

Very scary and glad you are better!

Natalie said...

So glad you're through with that. Let's hope this flu bug is long gone!

Laura said...

Anne, we're so glad that everything turned out fine in the end. Hoping your completely healed and doing alright.

Raini said...

I am soooooooo terribly sorry for how sick you got! That is crazy and it is horrible being ill. I hope you feel bad to normal now!

Raini said...

I am soooooooo terribly sorry for how sick you got! That is crazy and it is horrible being ill. I hope you feel bad to normal now!

sjw said...

Yikes! I'm in no way a trained medical professional but I don't think you should try that again. :> Glad you're OK!

Amber said...

Ummmm, like are you trying to scare us? Cuz you did a fine job!!! I'm glad to see that you're still here and apparently doing okay now. Sheesh, Anne! What are we going to do with you!? Take care of yourself! You're the only you there is! ;)

Amy-Sue and Gian Del Bello said...

OHHHH yuck! Did you take my advice and go to Bellflower instead of Harbor City?? Well, anyway, it's good to know they treated you well at the Hotel Kaiser. Glad you're feeling better!

Susan said...

I hate this story. Except the ending. And the main characters. But the plot and setting are terrible.